Sharing the joy

1st September, 2023

Hello, my friends, and welcome back. Let’s get straight into part 2!

Within a few weeks of owning Woody, it soon became apparent that Woody had a lot more issues than I had hoped. Sometimes allowing a horse to have a voice after years of suppression can open up pandora's box. As I allowed Woody to peel off the layer of what I can only class as trauma, it was like Woody was throwing out all his issues at me like verbal diarrhoea. “What have I done” I thought to myself…. Had I bitten off more than I can chew? But I knew in my heart from my experience with Wilma that if I took it one step at a time, focused on one thing then slowly I could work my way through his issues and help him overcome them.

Having had mares all my life, I thought having a gelding would be a walk in the park, Oh how I was mistaken. I guess it’s different having a broken-down horse. First things first, diet. Woody clearly did not have a stable diet and moving him on to a natural diet was so important to me. One thing that was flagged up straight away was ulcers after having a bout of colic. One morning, I got down to finding Woody standing like he needed a wee, yet he didn’t go. There is something wrong with him I said to myself as I rang the vet thinking he had a urine infection, only to turn out it was gas colic caused by severe ulcers. Right, let's get this under control. I learned that Woody was so gut-sensitive that even a standard supplement could cause him to colic. It took me a very long time, a lot of colic and vet visits to get Woody under control with his gut and diet stabilized. I will write about this in a later blog.

Step two feet, well it pretty much went hand in hand. No foot, no horse after all! I believe what you put in you get out and good nutrition counts for good healthy feet. Woody’s feet were like sharks’ teeth when I got him. He was shod in front, but I honestly don’t know how his foot even held a shoe, well they didn’t. “Get them off,” I told my trimmer. “He’ll have no foot left at this rate, I will deal with the slow process of going barefoot” … shoes off, hoof boots on in time Woody's feet slowly started to look normal again. This transition took about over a year.

At the same time, I started to tackle his body. Lucky for Woody, being a Bowen therapist, I could get to work on him straight away including classical groundwork to support his posture and development.

The next step, and after some time, saddle. Lavinia Mitchell, you are a Godsend. Welcome a new LM Saddle that I knew would develop his back and complement his rehab back to being a strong and healthy horse again. I wasn’t going to ride him until he was ready but having a saddle that would help him and more importantly give him comfort and confidence when ridden was a step in the right direction….who knew at the time, that I would be writing this today being the proud owner of LM saddle and continuing to fly the flag for holistic saddle fitting and carrying on the brand that Lavina gave her heart, passion, and career too, whilst aiming to make Lavinia proud!

I honestly believe this was the start of our bond. Woody knew I was there to help him. But, behind his eyes, I could feel he still was not letting me truly in, not allowing himself to let go and trust me. I continued to give Woody the time to build up our trust and allow the subtle request that I felt Woody needed to tell me to open up...My search to help Woody went deeper than a superficial level of connection. I guess I was searching for answers, and I needed to look inward to find them.

Over time we started to enjoy our time together. I also started helping him realize that saddling was not to be worried about and slowly started to ride him gently. He was getting stronger, his body was starting to look and feel great, his feet were looking healthy, and his diet and gut issues were under control. I spent hours and hours, allowing him to trust the mounting process, that saddle did not hurt anymore, and slowly began to sit on him and asked him if he would let me ride him. We spent the best part of a year only in walk, rebuilding his posture under saddle, and in time reintroducing the trot and canter. This time it was like riding a powerful engine that sent tingles down my spine. But still, there was something missing and I couldn't quite put my finger on it…

“Mum, I'm thinking of going bitless with Woody,” I said one day… “I want to try it to see if it makes him happier” Mum looked at me in horror “Oh, I don’t think that is a wise idea Jemma, he is a big strong horse,” Mum said in a worrying maternal voice “MUM, a bit doesn’t make a difference. I ride woody with softness and if I have a bit or not, it shouldn’t matter. As the saying goes, we are only as good as our own tool kit, and it's not about the equipment we use it's the hands behind it… I trust Woody and I’ve worked so hard to get him to where he is now, he’s stronger and his ridden work is amazing, but I feel I can give him more help”. I was doing it anyway! Mum bought me a bitless bridle that Christmas and I chucked myself in the deep end and got on him bitless the day after. I remember thinking to myself “wow, his back is working better and his shoulders are freer” … Canter around the arena, on a loose rein, off Woody’s back to let him open up with mum sat in the corner not wanting to watch in case I had no control (haha). As I came around the corner, not paying full attention but just being in the moment with my boy, Mum shout “Jemma Ducks”… there was a group of Ducks on the track that I was cantering toward “Oh crap!” in a split second I had to act fast or I could be in danger, I gently sat up, lifted up the rein slightly and asked Woody without pulling to stop. Woody stopped in a heartbeat. Ducks flow off and both Woody and I simply stood/sat and watched them, no stress at all. “Well, I guess I have put riding Bitless to the test” and walked off giggling to myself and saying to Woody “thats my boy, I trust you”…..Trust goes both ways.

Being on a more traditionally minded yard at the time, you can only imagine the comments I got… “Don’t you think you need to get him shod with all the hacking you are doing, instead of wearing those boots”… “Do you not think your saddle is too wide, you shouldn’t need a pad if your saddle fit” (someone pass my a coffee, Im getting tire and board now LOL)… and the best one “do you not think you need to wear a bit on your horse when out hacking, he’s a big strong horse and you will have not control”…. My response was always “I'm good thanks, I trust him” …. People are free to have their opinions, but I trusted Woody and I was beginning to believe that he was starting to trust me. Our connection was based on love and kindness.

Love conquers all fears and doubts! One thing is for sure, Woody taught me the art of trusting my gut instinct.

Stay tuned for part three to hear how Woody helped me through one of the most difficult and darkest moments of my life to date, one that I haven’t shared with many people.

Much love!

25th August, 2023

If you ever though a horse could look into your heart, deep into your soul and in return we would heal each other, this was my Woody.

Hello, my friend and welcome back to my blog!  I seem to be punishing myself here with another heart opening blog following on from my last post about Wilma. I have put this blogs into a series as its too long for one. So, here we go again.

I was called out to see a client who had a horse who needed some help. Walking on to the yard to be greeted by a 17-hand bright bay beautifully majestic horse. The second Woody looked at me, there was an energy that pierced my heart. Woody looked into my soul, I was memorized from the second we locked eyes.

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The owner at the time began to tell me how Woody was imported from Belgium as a show jumper, bought for a silly amount of money, had a successful career in showjumping and had brought many riders up the ranks, however he had “stopped jumping”. Woody was the most well-mannered, quiet boy who clearly knew his job, yet what I saw was a completely broken-down sad horse. He physically didnt look the best yet, there was something about him I could see past all that. As I was looking at him, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the exact same branding on his hind end as my Wilma, they were that same breed. After our session, I left and went straight to tell my Mum about this handsome horse that was the same breed as Wilma… “There is something about him Mum” I said… “He’s completely broken down but honestly, behind all that, I can feel there is a very special horse. If the owner ever put him up for sale, I would consider buying him” ….. Mum was like “yeah right, ok Jem!”

A few weeks went by and then one day I stumbled on an advert on social media, Woody was up for sale. I instantly contact the owner and asked if I could come and view him as a potential buyer. The owner relied by asking “why would you want him” and she thought I’d be the last person to want a horse like that.

A few days later I went to see him. Our eyes and souls locked again, and I was smitten. I knew from that moment he was mine and I was his. I went home and told Mario (my husband) that I had to have him…. Mario was adamant that we were NOT having another horse. “We don’t have the money”, “how can be afford 3 horses”, “you said you would never have another horse until either Rosey or Wilma passed away”, “your bonkers!”

I burst into tears and responded, “I have to have him Mario, it’s not a choice”, “I can’t explain it, but I have to have him”, “I’ll find the money”. Thank goodness I have to most amazing and supportive husband, who could see that it was not up for discussion and just how serious I was.

My Mum and Dad have always play a huge part in my horse life, so to have their approval, I needed have them to come and view Woody with me, as their thoughts mattered as no one knew me better than they did when it came to my horse. One rainy, windy afternoon Mum, Dad and I went back to view Woody again. On approach, Mum fell in love with Woody, his kind and gentle spirit. Dad looked at him all over with a stern look on his face, didn’t say anything and went straight back to sit in the car to watch me ride from a distance. The weather was horrendous, yet I felt calm, and I quietly rode him around the arena. Just a gentle walk, trot and canter not to push him and I was sold. My mum shouted over from a deep conversation with the owner, who was telling her about all the things Woody “could do”. Mum told me “Right if you want him, you need to see if what he can do is true… Go down the centre line in canter, half pass over followed by a flying change” …. I thought to myself, Im not sure he can do that, but my mum was right, I needed to feel him and if he would allow me to at least ask. I entered the centre line, half passed over and boom, flying change. I cantered passed the car my dad was sat in observing me with a strict, not to be messed with face. I thought “he doesn’t like him”, my heart was ready to break. I know that my Mum and Dad only have my best interest at heart and knowing what we had been through with Wilma and all the training I received in Germany, they knew what was best for me.

 I kissed Woody and left the owner, telling her I would let her know. I got in the car and there was complete silence as I eagerly waited to hear what my parents said, mainly my Dad.  “Well..?” I said bracing myself and holding back the tears. Dad and Wilma had a bond like I had never seen before. He always said that Wilma was his horse, and I was just the rider. I have never seen a horse go googley eyed over a person like Wilma did with my Dad. They adore each other so for my Dad to accept Woody into our family meant the a lot to me… “He’s a nice horse. He’s a mess, too thin for my liking, his body looks weak, his back needs treatment, his feet need sorting, he need a decent saddle and bridle and he needs looking after properly, but I can see past all that and if anyone can get him right it’s you! ”. “And he’s the same breed as my Wilma, will never beat her but he’s a good horse” …. My heart burst, that was all I needed to hear. “Are you sure this is what you want, Jemma?” …. I instantly replied “YES, I have to have him Dad, I can help him”…. And so it was.

The day I picked woody up was the first day of seeing Woody for who he truly was. We arrived with a trailer to be met with a rather unhappy horse who had been kept in a stable on his own all night… As I haltered him up in his new fancy halter and led him up to the trailer and I saw the fear come over his eyes. Woody stood at the trailer and planted his feet in horror… “He normally goes straight in” the old owner said trying the force him from behind… I have been use to trailer training horses who fear loading so I approached it with the same calmness and love as I always do. “he will go in you just have to tell him off” the old owner said… “thank you” I replied “but he’s my horse now so I will do it my way. He needs time” …I could see Woody’s heart pounding from his chest. “May I ask what kind of trailer he has been travelled in” I asked. “oh a smaller trailer than this, but honestly he went straight in when I got him” …… He’s 17 hands I thought to myself, and he’s travelled in a trailer too small for him. No wonder he is worried, I would be too. Its so much to ask of a horse let alone being confined in a small space. He probably has a fear of small spaces now. I gave him time to process and reassured him that everything will be ok. I told him that day that I would not hurt him or put him in any danger. After some time, Woody calmly walked into the trailer and off we went. I never thought for one minuet that what was to come was going to change my life and deepen my view, love, respect and connection of horses forever. 

Stay tune for how Woody and I started our healing journey together

Much love,

18th August, 2023

Hello, my friends and welcome back to my blog.

I thought I would kick off from my last blog with driving in deep with why I wear the scares of a broken horse and why it fuels my passion to help as many horses as I can. I know that I have briefly shared my story with some clients and may not have gone into detail (who am I kidding, I can talk the leg off a donkey, lol) Im not going to lie, writing this has been really hard, raw, heart wrenching and the tears have flown all the way through it.

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When I was 14 years old, my parent bought me my first horse, Wilma. She was the most stunning 5 years, 16.2h Belgium warmblood who had been imported to the UK. The whole family instantly fell in love with her sweet, kind nature. Having a passion for dressage, my parents thought long and hard about getting me my dream horse so I could pursue my love for the discipline. Now, I'm not from a wealthy family so before my parents made the commitment of a second horse (because there was no way my childhood pony and first love Rosey was going anywhere) they needed to know that I was committed and, boy they made sure I was before making the next step. To be honest, they already know, but I guess going into my real teenage years is usually a make or break when it comes to being a true horsey girl, but my one and only focus was horses, nothing else. I was that girl who got a Saturday job in a riding school when I was 12 to get a whole £5 for 6 hours of work (bloody hell that makes me sound old) to save up my money and either give it to mum and dad for Rosey or spend it on her, so I think it was safe to say, I was wholeheartedly committed. So, Wilma arrived, and I didn’t know how much love I could share between two horses equally, but I did. I was the luckiest and most grateful girl in the world.

My parents found a grand prix rider for me to train under and I remember having to undertake an assessment to see if I would be accepted to train under this person. It was like sitting an exam or at least I remember it being as nerve-racking as such. Anyhow, I passed the assessment to train under said person. My Mum and Dad spent a fortune on my lesson, which I had 2-3 a week. And basically, whatever they said, we did….. Fast forward sometime later, we had a dressage saddle, which (now being a holistic saddle fitter) literally makes my toes curl and my heart sink, I was wearing spurs and would not ride her without the use of drew reins and a flash nose band or a double bridle, if only I knew what I know now…… to cut a long story short, Wilma broke! Wilma ended up at an equine hospital for nearly 2 weeks with vets flying in from all over the world trying to figure out what was wrong with her as she would not and could not pick up one of her hind legs, yet she was not “lame”. The vets advised my parents to put Wilma to sleep as she would not be fit for anything if she couldn’t pick her leg up and flagged up some injuries. Obviously, my parents refused to put Wilma down and said they needed to give her a chance and find another way. The Vets also said that she would not be a ridden or competition horse but to be honest, I didn’t care if I ever stepped foot back into a competition ring again. I guess I always knew in my heart even at such a young age, that I had broken my horse (obviously not on purpose) and what I was told to do wasn’t right, yet my love for Wilma was stronger than any ribbon. My horses are for life and their needs will ALWAYS come first before my own desires or ambitions… I can’t tell you how many times I was told to get rid of her and get a better horse I could ride or what I wasted talent I was. How could I get rid of my beautiful girl when it wasn’t her fault.

We spent the next 12 months at different therapists, treatments, and retraining Wilma to pick her leg back up. There was major damage to her back and suspensory but with time, love, patience, and determination, we got her sounds, picking her leg up and happy again.

There has to be another way, I thought to myself, now 17 years old ….. And then I went to Germany. It was honestly like a fire had been light again in the depths of my soul for the discipline that I longed to be a part of all my riding life. This time I saw the art of dressage as channeling the horse’s natural ability not hindering it. I never forget the first time my boss said to me “if you want to ride horses like this, learn how to ride”. This has stayed with me all my life. What I learned in German was the foundation of my career today.

One day when I was back from Germany, I remember saying to my Mum “I broke Wilma, I know that now” We trained her so badly, pushed her too hard, too quickly that her body couldn’t take it. I did that to her. I know it was naively, but I take full responsibility for breaking Wilma. She is my horse, and I did that” ….. It has scared me to the depths of my heart since that day, but I have the balls to hold my hands up and admit it. You hear all time of horses getting "injured in the field" (which obviously does happen) but sometimes we need to wake up and see what is staring us in the face and take responsibility by education.

Wilma stayed with me till the day she left this world at age 24 and YES, I did ride her again. I'll never forget the time I rode Wilma after my time in Germany and with a new open mind and heart for the classic art of dressage. I was riding Wilma one day in the arena and I was being videoed. I rode past the camera and shouted “Look Dad, I can ride Wilma again” …. This feeling still to this day makes me cry every time I think of that moment. She was my absolute world and I made it my mission to heal her and make her happy again. I promised her that I would NEVER make the mistake I made when I was younger again, nor would I let any other horse that ever crossed my path have the same experience she did. I must be their voice and advocate. I had a first-hand experience of what bad training and ill-fitting saddles can do to horses and the more I learn, I always bring it back to Wilma. I guess as the saying goes "The more we learn, the more we realize how much more we need to learn". 

And, that my friends is what started off my lifelong journey of learning for the good of the horse.

To say a horse can change a person is so true. I owe my life and career to my precious girl. She definitely was sent to me for a reason. I believe both Rosey and Wilma have molded me to be the person I am today. How special is that!

Much love,

Anyone that knows me or has worked with me will know that I have dedicated the last 23 years of my career to learning, being the student of the horse, and being their voice and advocate alongside encouraging and helping people on their own journeys of empowerment, growth, and personal healing. It’s well known that I have a lot to share and always wish to pass on my learning to inspire as many people and horses as possible, hence wanting to start a blog. I can’t tell you how the last few months/year has not only caused me much stress but it left me questioning myself and brought up a lot of self-doubt and self-sabotage……… “Who am I to think I'm good enough to share my knowledge”, “who is even going to listen or read my blogs”, “Am I such a horrible person to deserve this pain”, “I'm not good enough” “Am I going to get trolled or hated on for being me”.

A wise woman AKA my Mum said to me “Jemma, remember who you are” … This was the kick up the backside I needed. I have a choice, I can wallow in my own self-pity, and let these feelings or the chronic illness take over my life or I could get up, seek the help I needed and be the person I really am. My fight for my health and for my passion is what I need to focus on and for the first time in a long while, I feel like I have some kind of a plan.

Getting back to myself is not and will not be easy and trying to stop the thoughts from coming up has taken so much willpower this far. As well as embracing the healing in my body, I'm giving myself the permission to surrender into this time with what feeds my soul and strengthens my mental health.

I have been meditating, listening to self-love subliminal and positive affirmations, taking my CBD religiously (thank you Raised Spirit CBD) natural supplements, seeing a therapist, holistic therapies and will take the time I need to get my strength back physically and mentally ready for to face the next steps of getting my life and health back on track…. I know what you are maybe thinking..... “Dam, she is good at hiding her feelings behind her smile” …….I wanted to share this to encourage anyone not feeling ok that you have a choice and please to get the help you need in any way you can. Find what works for you, after all, it’s an act of self-love!

I now feel ready to start my regular blogs which Im super happy about. My list of blogs is rather long, and I thought to myself “Where do I start”. I thought was only right to go back to the beginning and share some of my stories that have led me on my path to where I am today in my career and absolute love, passion, and respect for horses. So, with that stay tuned for some real, hopefully inspiring and thought-provoking blogs to come.

Much love,

February, 2023

Hello my friend!

I thought I would follow on from my first Blog with why and how I came up with the name for my website… Well, the name basically came to me instantly when I was thinking about what I should call it… Thinking about it deeper, EVERYTHING in life is about balance, right?

We all want to live in our own harmonious worlds, don’t we? And, especially with our horses?

The foundation of training is balance. healing starts from balance. The fundamentals of saddle fitting is all about balance, so to create harmony we must first look at the balance (honestly, If I got a pound for every time I said the word balance… well, I wouldn’t be sat on a farm in Cheshire on a wet November morning) …… and I'm not talking about standing on one leg.

I'm talking about looking at the physical, mental, and emotional health of us as humans and our horses.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I'm only human and this is something I am constantly working on in my own life and in a lot of cases, I am my own worse enemy and biggest block when it comes to finding balance. I overwork, self-sabotage, procrastinate and sometimes push my body to its very limits and then wonder why I break physically. However, to me, it's all about the baby step and accepting ourselves as we are without punishment, and forgiving ourselves to be able to seek balance again.

When it comes to horses, taking them where they are, physically, mentally, and emotionally is my first port of call before I would even consider looking at the therapy, training, or saddle fitting. If I can’t help the horse create balance in all three parts of their lives first, then I am letting them down in my opinion. I will go on into this in much more detail in later blogs, but for now, this gives you an idea of why I named my website Balancing Harmony! It made sense to me!

Much Love

January 2023

Hello, my friends and welcome to my blog page and new website.

I felt it was about time I created a space for me to be me. Anyone that knows me will know that I can talk the hind leg off a donkey and have a lot to say and share when it comes to anything horsey, healing, and holistic related. I feel very passionately about sharing my many years of knowledge, experiences and am known by some of my client as being the “go to “person or an equine encyclopaedia! (I’ll take that as a huge compliment)

As I have many hats in my profession and a lot of my own personal experiences and opinions, I wanted to create a place where I could speak freely and with my whole heart in relation to what I do, why I do it and also give you the opportunity to see the over side of my world and my own personal healing journey in the hope to inspire, encourage and provoke a catalyst for change, not only for the good of the horse but for us humans too..

So, fasten your seat belts and get ready to dive into my brain (so to speak) … God help you all!

Much Love